Thanksgiving Battle Royal

Knights' Tournament

Thanksgiving is now over. Turkey has been eaten and we are going to return to classes. As the holiday break winds down and the pre-exam jitters gear up, now would be a good time to take a little breather and reflect on this past week.

Thanksgiving is, for the most part, a time to eat. A time you all sit down and eat. Together. With people you’re related too. Usually from out of town. And, to quote Modern Family, “What’s Thanksgiving without the competitions?” And indeed, there will be competitions.

The I-Can-Eat-More-Than-You Competition
A simple, yet classic, competition. This battle is often never spoken of, and the winner is never publicly acknowledged. However, the rules are perfectly clear: he or she, whoever eats the most food during the first hour of the Thanksgiving meal, will be the winner.

The Monopolized-Conversation-The-Longest Competition
Slightly more subtle than the previous competition, the MCTLC contest requires wit and cunning verbal skills. The rules are simple: all you have to do is keep a group of four people or larger involved in conversation for as long as possible. The topic of the conversation is up to you. It can be as mundane or exciting as you wish, but know that the longer you keep your group engaged, the more points you shall receive. This one is usually won by my great aunt.

The Swag-O-Meter
We all have that one relative. You know, the one that you see once a year, and that one time happens to fall on a Thursday late in November. The one who, due to their lack of appearance any other time throughout the year, feels the need to make a vastly unnecessary, yet thoroughly enjoyable, huge entrance. To win this competition, one must not shy away from loudly announcing his or her presence in any particular room, even if you’ve already been in there once before. You must also have no fear interrupting conversations just to get that greeting handshake or hug in to those loved ones. Be bold, be brave and you’ll take home the Swag-O-Meter trophy with ease.

Those seem to be the largest of the competitions I run into on Thanksgiving day, and undoubtedly, each family will have their own special events as well. If you managed to, or know someone who did, grab one of these top spots at your Thanksgiving. Feel free to let me know in the comments below and share your story!

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